Hello my Fabulous Fancies! Long time, no… anything much, really, as we here at Miss Fancy Says… have been inundated! Rushed off our feet! Busy as busy can be! But now, with the Summer peeping out prettily from beneath her lashes, and Christmas just a sip of eggnog away, it’s time to turn out attention to the finer points of entertaining! Yes!
Ah, parties…. a time for people to get together, catch up with friends, make some new ones, sip a Fluffy Duck or twelve, and generally let their hair down. But these magical evenings don’t just happen! No! Perfect parties require planning, forethought and imagination. And here at Miss Fancy Says… we’re here to help you make your entertaining dreams a reality!
Nothing says ‘festivities’ like an all-nylon outfit.
From the hem of the flares, to the top of the wig, these outfits are 100% flammable.
Invitations are the best way to set the tone for your special gathering. If you’re wanting people to dress formally, send out formal looking invitations. If you’re wanting a retro theme, then make sure that your invitation has that feel – though beware! If your party has, for example, a 1960’s theme, because you want everybody to look like they’ve stepped off the set of Mad Men , but your invitation includes lots of ‘peace’ signs and images of Kombi vans, you’re going to end up with everybody looking like they were hoping to be extras on Taking Woodstock. Not nearly the same.
In the immortal words of Hamlet, to costume or not to costume, that is the question. And really, only you can answer it, but…as far as Miss Fancy is concerned, it really is a ‘no’. Or, at the very least, ‘no, unless you have a dress theme (rather than a ‘costume’ one) which makes people look gorgeous, rather than ridiculous.’ Now, before the cries of ‘party pooper’ rise up from the ether, do hear me out.
Consider the scene: You’ve been invited to an ‘ugly jumper and shell suit’ party, and so have already wasted much of your Saturday morning engaged in an increasingly desperate op-shop search to find the Cosby Show special of your host’s dreams. You get it home and lay it out on the bed, all the while completely aware that your party frock is hanging a few feet away, preparing for yet another lonely night in. You get dressed, feeling frumpy, lumpy, and unattractive, and never less like meeting new people, or even catching up with those who you know well. It is also a truth universally acknowledged, that most Truly Fabulous people would rather invest $100 on something gorgeous, than $25 on something ugly, and so you’re very aware that you’ve spent money on an outfit that you don’t want, will never use again, and are embarrassed to be seen in. You set out, feeling a tiny bit resentful, and a big bit self conscious. Not a great start to the festivities, is it?
So, before you start doing an image search of the most unattractive knitwear known to humankind in order to set the tone for your invitations, do stop and think of other possible themes. Vintage (pre-1970’s though, or you’ll be seeing a lot of nylon afro wigs)… Roaring 20’s… Hollywood Glamour… A Midsummer Night’s Dream…. black and white… all things bright and beautiful…Bollywood Nights… are just some of the options that have myriad possibilities for guests to really go to town. And believe me, they’ll thank you for it when they spend their evening looking fabulous and feeling confident.
Remember, though, that dress and costume themes really are optional. We live in a world where we are lucky enough to have so many beautiful things available, and most of us have a frock or two that we couldn’t resist buying, but is almost never worn. So, simply letting people just pop along dressed as their best and Fanciest version of themselves is a really good way to ensure that everybody starts off feeling relaxed and ready to face the world.
Of course, if you really must insist on full costume, then please do choose a motif that is broad enough for people to really spread their wings and look how they want to look, or clever enough to really get your guests talking. Some years ago, my brother attended a 21st with a truly brilliant costume theme. Or, to be more accurate, themes. The birthday girl had sent out four different sets of invitations to people from the four different aspects of her social base, each bearing one of four different dress themes. Her family had all been asked to dress as their favourite sporting personalities, her school friends had all been given the task of coming as the person who they most wanted to be when they were 16. Her lifesaving club buddies were all to dress as nautical figures, and her uni chums were asked to come as the animal that most represented their personality. This very imaginative and fun idea kept people engaged all evening.
Speaking of costumes, it’s generally not only the guests who’ll be expected to put their best foot forward. To take the time and trouble to give your house a thorough cleaning, especially the areas that will be visited by your attendees. All living areas, the bedroom where coats and bags are to be stored, the kitchen, and, please forgive my indelicacy here, but necessity drives me to it, the loo, must be neat and tidy. The sensible host will make sure that there are plenty of tea towels within easy reach in the kitchen, and rolls of paper towel, too. The conveniences should also be well stocked with extra loo paper and hand towels. As much as it pains me to say it, you’ll also need to ensure that there are ashtrays in the outdoor area, for those who are still adhering to that unfortunate habit.
Decoration need not be costly, especially if you rely on mood lighting. By this I mean fairy lights, maybe even candlelight, or soft lamplight. Utilise a dimmer switch if you have one. Do not, however, turn the lights so low that your guests cannot see one another. This may be fine for night clubs, which need to provide something close to pitch dark in order to maximise scope for patrons to do things that they’ll regret the next day, but at a stylish function such as yours, soft, flattering light is perfect.
Food can be another cause of party-planning stress, but it need not be. Decide early what type of party you have in mind. If there’s a theme, it can be really fun to decide on appropriate foods, and if the guest list is suited to it, you may even be able to organise for everybody to bring a dish that fits in to the menu. This works especially well with one of my mother’s classic party themes, the ‘International Night’, where everybody brings a dish from their own motherland. If it’s to start any time before 9pm, bank on needing to provide actual food, rather than just nibbles. If it starts after 8pm, you can probably get away with a few heartier snackish things, but if it’s before then, you really will need to start looking up dishes that stretch, because dinner is definitely on the menu
The only circumstance under which you should invite people to a BBQ and ask them to bring their own meat, is if you are under 23 years of age, and a struggling student. Otherwise, this really is the height of ridiculous – if you’re too poor to hold the kind of function that involves providing protein, then have a different kind of celebration. Asking people to ‘bring a plate’ is perfectly acceptable in many circumstances. Asking them to provide the basis of their own meal is not. There is also a certain point in life where, if you are throwing a grownups party with grownups attending, there may be alcohol. And some of this should be supplied by you. We are indeed a drinking nation, and guests can generally be relied upon to bring something to imbibe, but…if you’re the host, the foundation of the bar is your responsibility. A bit of beer, a bit of wine, maybe even a spirit or two. The Truly Stylish guest will, of course, add to this, perhaps even bringing whatever it is they hope to drink themselves, but the bottom line is, if you’re hosting, you’re also providing.
That being said, do feel free, should you have a friend who has a particular specialty that you love, to ask if they might make it. The very well brought up guest may, of course, have already asked what they can bring, and most amateur cooks will be delighted to be prevailed upon to whip up their renowned Chicken a la King. Don’t take this too far, though. The chicken is one thing, but adding their Devilled Eggs, Angels on Horseback and Pigs in Blankets to your request list is entirely another. Remember, it’s your party, not theirs! The responsibility to feed the hungry hordes rests with you.
If people offer to bring food, then by all means take them up on it if you’d like, but do be clear with them about any themes you may be trying to stick to. Close friends may even be happy enough to work from a recipe that you’ve got. It’s also fine to say that you will be using your own serving ware, if you want your buffet to look cohesive. Personally, Miss Fancy is generally a plain white platter girl, unless it’s Christmas (festive flatware) or a delicate afternoon tea (floral china). Plus, this little edict will save your generous contributor from digging out their Nanna’s Willow Ware platter and schlepping it across town, only to find that it’s going to be washed and relegated to the coat room almost as soon as it arrives.
And a final word on themed party food – do try to make it delicious – as fun as your seventies theme might be, a lot of seventies hours d’ouvres recipes are, by today’s standards, quite unpalatable, so try to find or adapt recipes so that they fit the theme without being unpleasant. The ‘it’s funny because it’s gross’ joke only lasts a moment, but the uneaten food is there for the duration.
pop the stalk of the pineapple on top, and voila! Dinner is served!
As far as keeping your guests entertained goes, don’t just think that you can rest on your laurels and wait for the magic to happen. It may well, but it’s best not to bank on it. Obviously I’m not talking about setting up a mini golf course in your living room and hiring a bouncy castle (unless you want to, and it fits in with the tone of your occasion), but making sure that people’s glasses are freshened, that your guests have been introduced to at least two people who they might not know, and that there’s a really great selection of music for people to dance to. The trick with that, unless you have an ‘era’ theme, in which case you may be forced to have Culture Club on high rotation all night, while the Rolling Stones languish at the bottom of the pile, is to keep the music mixed across a number of decades. If you start at the early 60’s and lead it right up to the present, there should be something for everyone.
(If you are going to be providing activities, do remember before you set out the Twister and draw up the grid for the hopscotch tournament, that whether people participate or not is up to them. A little reminder that if anybody wants to play badminton, the net’s all set up, is fine. Chasing people around, trying to press your shuttlecock into their hand, is not.)
Another excellent hostess gambit for dealing with shy guests is to press them into service. Not at the kitchen sink – that will only compound the issue, but handing around canapes can be an excellent icebreaker for the shy. Also, do think if quietly asking a shy guest to do you a wee favour, of the “You see that woman over there in the pink dress? She’s very shy, and I was wondering if you might help me out and start a conversation with her? I hate to think she’s not enjoying herself” variety, and soon, enough, your two little wallflowers might blossom into social fabulousness together.
Consider too, the possibility of having a quieter area for people who just wish to chat. As fun as bellowing “What do you do?…What do you DO?…WHAT’S YOUR JOB?…..JOB….WORK…” into a new friend’s ear might be, the novelty wears thin once you start to get the sense that your throat might be bleeding slightly. So, offering those who might want to use your social gathering to actually be sociable a place to do so, is a fabulous idea. This will also be really appreciated by your non-drinking guests.
Some other people who it’s nice to spare a thought for while your planning your party, are the uninvited guests. Here, I do not refer to the screaming masses who might turn up because of a Facebook ‘event’ page malfunction, but rather, your neighbours. If they’re lying in bed at 3am on a Sunday morning, staring fixedly at the ceiling, while their entire home vibrates to the sound of your Black Sabbath collection, all the while aware that in a few short hours, they’re going to be picking up a lot of your friend’s cigarette butts and beer cans, (or even, feasibly, one of your your friends themselves) from their driveway, to Miss Fancy’s mind, that makes them a party guest, willingly or otherwise. The point here, is when planning your party, do think of the people next door. You may want to give your friends a night they’ll remember forever, replete with ear-splitting musical stylings, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t. But! Do remember, that long after you’ve packed away the hostess trolley, your neighbours may still be silently (or perhaps openly) resentful.
This, and parking, are the things that ‘over the fence’ wars are made of. You may think that this is no real concern of yours, but think how you’ll feel the next time you’re headed to the Gold Coast, and you pop around to ask that nice older couple next door if they wouldn’t mind clearing your junk mail. You knock. The car’s in the driveway. The lights are on. You see a curtain twitch, but nobody answers the door. You begin your trip idly wondering if you’ve somehow managed to cause offence, but that then escalates into all-consuming concern; it completely ruins Movieworld. Eventually you return home to a tidal wave of Kmart catalogues, and frosty glares across the driveway. And all because you weren’t thoughtful enough to turn the noise down at a reasonable time. Was it worth it? Here at Miss Fancy Says…, we think not.
So! With the warmer weather and Yuletide upon us, if you just follow our Fabulously Fancy tips, you’re all set to be the most noted and celebrated host of the season!
Have a Fabulously Fancy day!
Miss F. xox
Miss Fancy Says 