Very Miss-terious!

It’s a bit of a red letter day here at Miss Fancy Says…because we’ve received not one, but TWO queries! Yes! Here’s where Miss Fancy really gets to lead the way through tricky social minefields, with her troop of Fabulous Fellow Fancies following along!

The first question comes from ‘Perplexed’ of Fitzroy.
Question: if you are married to Mr Fancy (naturelment), would that not make you Mrs Fancy, or at least Ms Fancy? Or do you simply spurn such unfabulous societal pigeon-holing?Sincerely, Perplexed, Fitzroy
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Dear Perplexed,
This is an excellent question, and one which you have all but answered yourself.  But, having said that, please do allow me to expand slightly.  It is of the utmost importance to me that everybody understands that Mr Fancy and I are not brother and sister.  So, hold off on calling ‘A Current Affair’ or ‘Today Tonight’ just for the moment, because there’ nothing to see here, folks! 

No!  We are husband and wife!   Mr and Mrs!   God and the Attorney General… signed off on that particular pile of paperwork sixteen years ago. And yet, you ask, how is it that I’ve somehow managed to act as ‘Maid of Honour’ at weddings, even though my own Fabulously Fancy nuptial day is several years behind me?

Well, I’ll tell you.Some time ago, it became clear to me, that all Fabulously Fancy women possess, and should cherish, an inalienable right to perpetual miss-hood.  (By this, I don’t mean being a girl gangster, though I would make a fabulously stylish one. I could also have used the term ‘maidenhood’, but that has some rather unpleasant, Barbara Cartland-ish connotations, which are, frankly, not terribly Fancy.)

I should also point out here, that, on balance, ‘Mrs Fancy’ seems like a fictional (though delightful) roly-poly, bespectacled older woman, whose name and image you might find on the side of a packet of mass produced, jam-filled biscuits, and who was devised by an advertising ‘creative’ who won’t be winning any industry awards this year.

Meanwhile, ‘Ms Fancy’ comes across as some kind of mawkishly over serious, ultra ‘woke’ combination burlesque / feminist comedy / socio-political satire performer.  To which I say, respectfully, ‘yuckity, yuck, yuck.’  Not Miss Fancy’s cup of chai soy latte at all.

Then, there’s also the matter of what being married to Mr Fancy confers upon me.  You see, like most people who are lucky enough to have found the right person and slapped on the cuffs,  (or, as a slightly deaf friend of mine used to think the saying was, ‘snapped on the gloves’ – a bewildering and not terribly pleasant sounding proposition), the love of a truly good man is what allows me to really develop my considerable natural fanciness.  Plus, in the eyes of Mr Fancy, I will always be the fabulous young Miss who caught his eye so many years ago; forever ‘Miss Fancy’, no matter what dreary social convention comes along to suggest otherwise.

So!  To sum up, Miss Fancy, while retaining a natural air of ‘miss-hood’, is any number of things:  Naturally glamourous.  A respected Etiquette Mistress.  A wry social commentator.  A bespectacled baker of baked goods.  A devoted wife to her beloved Mr Fancy, who makes each day more Fabulously Fabulous than the last.But definitely, definitely, a ‘Miss’, all the same.

With love and best wishes for a Fabulously Fancy Day!Miss Fancy xx