Hello my Fabulous Fellow Fancies! Today at Miss Fancy Says… we’re going to tackle the tricky terrain of technology! The Wide World of Web! Yes! The internet! Love it or hate it, it’s here to stay! And what a (n)etiquette minefield it is! In a world wide (web) first, we’ll be talking enchanting emails, Fabulous Facebooking and tasteful Twittering!
First cab of the Fancy rank is emails. Such a boon! Saves on paper, postage, and interpersonal dialogue. Not since the advent of television has any single invention done so much to advance the extinction of conversation. Huzzah! It’s quick and simple, so what could go wrong? Puh-lenty!
Like every form of written communication, there are rules to be observed. Chiefly here, the importance of signing on and off. Obviously, if your brief email is part of a long chain written in a short space of time, to somebody who you know well, then the ‘Dear Mr Charming’ and ‘Kind regards, Miss Manners’ may be dispensed with. But if you’re writing or replying to anybody you don’t know well, in any kind of professional situation, or contacting even a dear friend, salutations and signatures are expected. After all, you wouldn’t send a letter without one, and emails are but a swift replacement for standard mail.
Do also be mindful of the fact that emails (and text messages, for that matter) are not really able to convey tone. So, what you might perceive as a jokey little comment, may read to the recipient as a snide remark. Correct use of punctuation and context can help here, but really trying to read what you’ve written objectively is better, and, if you’re in even the most minor doubt, do not press ‘send’.
While we’re on the topic of emails, I’m going to share one of Miss Fancy’s most bugging bugaboos – email forwards. Funny ones, ‘moving’ ones, ones that tell me that I’m surrounded by angels, ones with off-colour jokes… whatever they are, if I’m that keen to read them, I’ll find them on my own, thank you very much. Don’t get me wrong, I like laughing, feeling, being watched over by celestial beings and ribaldry as much as the next Fabulous Fancy. I’d just like to do it on my own terms, at a time that suits me, and doesn’t clog up my inbox.
If you are keen on forwarding emails that contain naughty jokes, political, religious or racial content, then do remember this Fancy Fact! If you’re sending these messages on to people’s work accounts, it is entirely possible that you may cost a friend their job. Many companies don’t wish for their time. resources and technology to be used to spread lewd content, offensive ideas, or propaganda that isn’t theirs, and so avail themselves of the right to surveil their systems. And if your friend is found to have anything on their system that can be construed by management as offensive, the consequences can be dire.
Facebook, of course, has a ‘do’s and don’ts’ list as long as your arm!
Don’t play out disagreements with others, it’s tacky, unnecessary, and deeply uncomfortable for all your mutual friends. Don’t start contentious discussions. People don’t need to be publicly brought to account about where they live, what they believe, how they educate their children, how they spend their time, or anything else that isn’t illegal. And, here’s a very important one – don’t post photos of events that have selective invitation lists. This is most especially true when said photos are of your colleagues, as nothing, NOTHING, will promote an air of ‘school-yardery’ in the workplace quite so quickly. So either invite widely, or keep your cameras out of it altogether.
Also, don’t tag people in photos without checking with them first. Other people should get to decide what appears on their own social media, and choosing for them can cause all sorts of issues. For example, you might have had a friend over for Sunday tea, and had such a thoroughly lovely time that you’ve taken a few happy snaps of the event and posed them to Facebook, because you’ve wanted to share your joy with the world! Your friend, however, may have had to tell her Auntie Joyce a little wee white porky-pie about having to work that day, so as to avoid her second cousin Tristram’s engagement party. So now, the photos of you and your friend, grinning widely over a pot of Russian Caravan and some ribbon sandwiches have appeared on her Facebook, and she’s in trouble with Auntie Joyce, Tristram, Kaylene (Tristram’s fiancee) and Uncle Gerald, who have all seen her Facebook page. Not to mention your friend’s mother, who isn’t on Facebook, but has had an irate call from Auntie Joyce, and now knows that Christmas this year is now going to be even more tense than usual. What a mess! And all because of the innocent press of a button.
Also, think about who your Facebook friends are – my Fabulously Fancy rule of thumb is this: If I wouldn’t be prepared to sit down to lunch with somebody, they’re not really a ‘friend’ – real world, imaginary, Facebook or other. And on the topic of Facebook friends, something deeply un-fancy happened to me recently. A good friend of mine split up with her boyfriend, and he ‘unfriended’ me, and anybody else he knew through her, from his Facebook lickity split! Isn’t that the absolute limit? This man had been in my home, eaten meals at my table, and we’d always gotten along splendidly. The breakup hadn’t been particularly acrimonious, so, why the silliness? I assume that if we bumped into each other at happy hour at The Regal Beagle he wouldn’t march up to me to declare that, henceforth, we are no longer friends, (unfurling of banners, sounding of trumpets, a drumroll or two) so why do it over the internet? Extremely un-Fabulous.
Speaking of social media that has potential for spitefulness, it would be remiss of me not to mention Twitter. Yes! The ‘micro-blogging’ website that allows its members to post thoughts and ideas of 140 characters or less. Now, Miss Fancy does have a Twitter account, but it is woefully underused. Not so for the millions of people who seems to think that it’s a forum to very publicly say unkind things to and about people in the public eye. Is this necessary? Never. Is it fun to read? Rarely. Is it a way to make the world a better place? No. Could we all just change the channel, turn off the radio, or not read the article about whatever celebrity is being a bit of a sillypants today? Absolutely.
The lucky few of you who know Miss Fancy personally, will no doubt be aware that I’m not much of a Pollyanna. However, one fast rule that I maintain is, that spitefulness is not a stepping stone when one is attempting to build her Fancy Empire. And, in a world where defamation laws seem to be a thing of the past, slander is a fashion statement, and libel a way of passing an otherwise dull evening during the television non-ratings period, I would suggest that we all take matters into our own hands and start adhering to a very pertinent saying, popularised, I believe, by somebody called Thumper (who was a rabbit in Bambi, not a nightclub security operative) – if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
So, if you are going to ‘tweet’ on ‘Twitter’ (look at me being all ‘down with the kids’!), or indeed do anything else that will find its way into cyberspace, the Fabulously Fancy will always remember that the online world is just a more concentrated version of the real one.
And thus, excellent manners, a modicum of really good quality sequins, remembering to say a kind thing when you think it, and the general putting forward of one best foot, makes everything Fabulously Fancy for everyone!
With love and best wishes for a Fabulously Fancy Day!
Miss F xoxo
Miss Fancy Says 